Isn’t it amazing when you reach the point in your life where NO apology is necessary for being who you are? For me, bar none. “motherhood” is and always will be my greatest joy.
No personal accomplishments, no academic plaques, numerous certifications, no feats of physical strife, or no monetary gains of any measure can every fill my soul with the amazing “JOY” I have received from my children. Yes, there have been many hard moments when you are terrified or heartbroken, or really, really scared, or furious beyond measure. Car wrecks, broken bones, illnesses you cannot foresee, and constant risks. Never knowing for sure, but yet always knowing “love prevails.” Then, there is the “picking up the pieces” when their hearts and souls are bleeding so profusely and all you can do is just ‘be there” until they can get through it. All of a sudden come the births of your children’s babies and you have to watch them go though the pain you have endured. You have to step back, bite your lip and let them be the parent with all the challenges and heartaches you endured. It is really, really difficult to let them be and not nag them about what you, want, think, and believe. After all, we have been though it, so we should know right?
Yes, one of the greatest challenges as a parent is adjusting to who they are as people, and not expecting them to be just like you or do what you want them to do. Their visions are different, their dreams, and their needs. They may never be anything like you, or they may turn out to be more like you one day than you think, or would even believe when they were young. Sometimes you see them heading straight for a wall and want to stop them, but you cannot always be the “mamma bear.” They have to find their way, and be who they are. One of my biggest lessons has been learning to respect that and back off (and it is a lesson I am still learning and continually working on).
My children know my weaknesses, my flaws, my failings, and just pretty much know that their mother is far from perfect and yet they love me anyway. They put up with me, they support me and they give me love and hope, which totally fuels me to continue to be the best that I can be. You cannot ever beat the relationship between a child and a parent even if that relationship has been a bumpy road at times. Bad times with kids are like eclipses, or a cloud passing over the sun. Those bumps do not last forever. I like what Winston Churchill said
“Never, never, never, never Give Up”
I am pretty stubborn about not giving up on most things, especially my children.